when i wake to a world of grey

grey,
that's how my heart feels sometimes
those mornings when i wake to the day feeling like i left half of myself back in bed
not wholly here
missing vivacious present living
tired
weary
worn thin
transparent

so i cover myself is bright colors, hoping my spirit will mimic the clothes i wear
praying for brightness
for another form of sunshine
for life, full, vibrant life
for living fully alive

it's been a season of learning simple prayers,
of learning dependance,
of learning to need, desperately. 

so many mornings this winter this word has been my prayer,
with eyes barely open,
mind only half awake
joy.
please, Abba, bring joy.
help me delight in the abundance of your grace, 

in the sunshine of your face
when all the world looks cloudy,
grey